Motherhood journey

My name is Nomgcobo Galela a mother to a five year old daughter and twenty three months old son. We are to celebrate a milestone as he turns a year soon. This is significant as his birth came with many difficulties and as a family to see his growth brings joy and pride to our hearts. As a mother you are constantly expected to be your best at all times for your children and I found this to be a challenge. With time I then realised painting a “picture perfect” mother image to my children would be false. This perfect-mom image which I would constantly see portrayed by society, whereas for me that never was the case.

The perfect-mom struggle would mean you would have to dedicate all your time to a point of self-neglecting with friends evidently showing these signs, I then made a conscious decision that my well-being mattered. Where I stand now? “It takes a village to raise a child” a cultural saying I grew by and as a mother I never shy away from asking assistance from those around me when I am in need of navigating this concept called motherhood. I have accepted that I can be as dedicated to my dreams and yet still be as much of a dedicated mother without my love ever running too short because after all I can do all. I acknowledge that I live a blessed life supported by my fully present husband, in-laws and friends. As for my husband he specifically takes care of my mental health and spiritual health in always keeping me aligned (oh and his support is based on "a happy mom is a happy home”). I take pride in taking care of myself and most women feel guilty in doing so. To me self-care is important as I get to revive myself and feel fulfilled enough in order to tackle life at my best. When I can afford some time I would often take special moments and be by myself. One favourite place I usually can afford to go to is a spare room in the house, when things do get chaotic while the little ones keep calling “mama” for everything, I would sometimes leave my husband for some time for a little break from all the mitigating and the “no’s” I have to keep saying to my children. After my little break in silence and revival I am able to gather my thoughts and continue producing the best version of myself. On some special occasions with the children at my in laws (by the way who are always happy to host them) my husband and I would do date nights with wine as we rekindle and revive in peace. On a healthier note on the weekends my husband and I would take turns to jog as he does 7km and I 4km this helps to keep us refreshed and ready to tackle more of parenthood and all that life hands to us.

All in all, I guess what I am trying to bring across here is that don’t be afraid to take your “me time” when you need it the most. Moms matter too and a happy mom does create a happy home environment. Don’t get sucked into the perfect image we all try to imitate. The best version of yourself is the perfect gift you can give to your children – oh and to your husband too!